Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Israel Blames Bernie Madoff For Civilian Casualties

Israeli authorities revealed today that losses from investments with Bernie Madoff, forced Israel to cut one of The Ten Commandments, "Thou Shall Not Kill", and led to the deaths of over 600 men, women and children in Gaza.

Israel also said Madoff was a member of Hamas, just so they could blame Hamas for the killings too. "When you steal money from people, that's a terrorist act", said an Israeli government spokesman. When asked if bombing and killing civilians was also an act of terror, he said " We don't target civilians. We target the buildings we know civilians are hiding in."

Israel's Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni said "There is no humanitarian crisis in the Strip and therefore there is no need for a humanitarian truce." Livni also said that the earth is flat.

Livni is right that it's not a humanitarian crisis-it's a humanitarian disaster.

Before the Israeli invasion, it was a humanitarian crisis. Four of five Gazans lived on $2 or less a day. Seven of 10 were out of work. Electricity lasted for a quarter to a third of the day. But compared to the current situation, those were the good old days.

Israel is expected to continue fighting until January 20 at noon, when Barack Obama takes the oath of office.

When it comes to speaking out against the war crimes of Israel and Hamas, Obama needs to drop the "We only have one President at a time" schtick. After all, does anyone really consider George W. Bush the President anymore?