tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21109162941227085912024-03-14T01:47:00.848-04:00The End Of The Week As We Know ItScott Blakeman delivers fresh political humor every week.Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.comBlogger91125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-56160548819230956432012-01-09T15:31:00.001-05:002012-01-09T15:31:23.175-05:00My Debatable WeekendFrom Saturday night until Sunday morning, we were given a taste of what life would be like if there was a 24 hour Republican presidential debate channel.<br /><br />Saturday's debate followed the adventure game show Wipeout where contestants tried to navigate a moving obstacle course suspended over water. Even though the Wipeout contestants often emerged soaked and battered, they emerged from the chilly waters with more dignity than most of the GOP candidates.<br /><br />A year from now, one of the candidates in the debates this weekend will be doing reverse mortgage commercials.<br /><br />Jon Huntsman kept his dignity intact and won both debates. Not just for what he said, but for the fact he finally got to say anything at all. Like many people, when I first heard Huntsman speak Saturday night, I thought "Oh, so that's what he sounds like."<br /><br />With the elocution, looks and demeanor of someone who would have played the part of the president in a 1950's film, Huntsman proved that by speaking with intelligence and wisdom, and at times, in Mandarin, you completely alienate the Republican base. Even though Huntsman is an authentic dyed-in-the-wool conservative who hasn't done a Romney flip-flop, he is looked upon by Republicans as an alien from another political party. Even though he would be the GOP's strongest candidate if they were willing to take him seriously.<br /><br />The real question is how Republicans can take any of the other candidates seriously. When Newt Gingrich passionately defended marriage as a "sacrament", which is at the very foundation of our society, you might rightly wonder how this twice divorced philanderer qualifies as an expert on that institution.<br /><br />After some early comments, Rick Perry disappeared from the first debate (I think he flew to South Carolina ), until the final question, when he was asked "If you weren't here, what would you be doing tonight?" Perry said he would be at a shooting range, which was one of the most believable comments anyone said all night. But just when I thought Perry might be finally getting his muddled thoughts together, he gramatically incorrectly said in Sunday's debate, "I make a very proud statement and a fact that we have a president that's a socialist." Perry also gave his vote for sending our troops back to Iraq. Next, he'll be calling for a restart of the Vietnam War.<br /><br />Romney is an oddly ill at ease, uncomfortable front runner. He's like a comedian who's always desperately trying to win over the crowd. By using someone else's material.<br /><br />If I left Ron Paul out of this article, his supporters would claim it was a conspiracy. So I didn't.<br /><br />And Rick Santorum says he doesn't discriminate against gays, but just doesn't want them to actually have equal rights.<br /><br />After watching the first debate Saturday night, I went to sleep and had a few nightmares. Then I woke up this morning and turned on the second debate.<br /><br />Those nightmares turned out to be real.Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-41466358116824854122011-12-27T22:48:00.001-05:002011-12-27T22:50:16.416-05:00The End Of The Year As We Know ItTo those of you who think 2011 flew by more quickly than any other year, you're absolutely right.<br /><br />While we were being distracted by wall to wall coverage of trials of people we had never heard of, and marriages of people we shouldn't have heard of, and debates with candidates we hopefully won't hear from again, some benevolent force was out there discreetly trimming hours from 2011. Because in a year where craziness reached new heights, the merciful thing to do was to wrap things up more quickly, and hope the new year brings some sanity.<br /><br />But don't expect an easy path to a rational, reasonable year. House Republicans will try to block that. And Senate Republicans will filibuster confirming any names to implement rationality and reason. Or even the law. <br /><br />Mitt Romney will come out and say he used to agree with reason while he was Governor of Massachusetts, but that being rational and reasonable doesn't work for other states or the country as a whole. Newt Gingrich will then cite his fictionalized history of the words rational and reasonable, and finally claim that those are "invented" words.<br /><br />Rick Santorum will insist that being rational and reasonable begins at conception, Ron Paul will cut all aid to both traits, Michele Bachmann will make some facts up to show that being wrong about everything is the most rational and reasonable way to be.<br /><br />Rick Perry will give three reasons why he's the most rational and reasonable guy out there. I can't recall what those three things are at the moment.<br /><br />And finally Jon Huntsman will actually say rational and reasonable things, like believing in the validity of science. But no one will be listening to him when he says that.<br /><br />And when President Obama calls for rational and reasonable things to get done, to add to the many rational and reasonable things he's already done, liberals will say it's irrational for him to be so reasonable.<br /><br />But maybe, 2012 is the year craziness becomes so 2011, and intelligence becomes the new trending topic on Twitter. In 2012, maybe being hip will be replaced by being smart, and red states will be replaced by well read states.<br /><br />2012 may well mark the beginning of the end of the Tea Party, or else it will be the beginning of the end of the Republican party. Christine O'Donnell and Sharon Angle cost the Republicans a Senate majority, and if Republicans continue to pledge allegiance to Grover Norquist instead of America, and continue to block implementation of laws and confirmation of qualified people to carry out those laws, they could well lose the House next year as well.<br /><br />2011 was a crazy year.<br /><br />So it's a good thing it went by so quickly.<br /><br />But the brightest moments of 2011 came when people around the world rebelled against the craziness and the unfairness, and screamed out for a better life. The Arab Spring combined unspeakable bravery and dedication with a rational and reasonable desire to be free. And the Occupy movement has begun to call for other kinds of rational, reasonable fairness and equality here at home.<br /><br />Hopefully in 2012 being rational and reasonable, smart and thoughtful, kind and compassionate will guide the actions of all of our elected officials and citizens here and around the world.<br /><br />If that happens, I hope 2012 goes by nice and slowly.Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-64367290820002882622011-08-19T12:47:00.000-04:002011-08-19T12:47:04.984-04:00My card for Grange Hall show #WestTisbury 9/2, 3. Use code FB... on Twitpic<a href="http://twitpic.com/68i0jh#.Tk6TXpOiDeU.blogger">My card for Grange Hall show #WestTisbury 9/2, 3. Use code FB... on Twitpic</a>Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-21487747912442123842011-04-01T13:31:00.006-04:002011-04-01T13:55:10.472-04:00Ohio and Wisconsin Republicans Reveal Union Busting Was Early April Fools JokeRepublicans in Ohio and Wisconsin admitted today that their legislation to severely weaken the right of unions to engage in collective bargaining was merely an early April Fools joke.<br /><br />Ohio State Senator Shannon Jones said, "When I sponsored this bill, I really didn't think anyone would take me seriously. I mean, what kind of an idiot would think it was a good idea to balance state and local budgets on the backs of hardworking union public employees?"<br /><br />Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker added, "Do you really think I would try to destroy unions in a state that has such a progressive tradition of looking after the rights of workers? Just to pay back the billionaire Koch brothers for financing my campaign?"<br /><br />Governor Walker said that he was surprised no one got the joke. "Attacking the rights of public employees and unions was such an irrational, over the top thing to do. I can't believe people thought I was serious."Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-40333630632662099972011-02-13T13:28:00.015-05:002011-02-14T17:22:04.943-05:00My Valentine's Day Card to EgyptI don't have all of your addresses, so here's a group Valentine's Day card to the people of Egypt to express my love and admiration for your miraculous and inspiring achievement.<br /><br />Your heroic perseverance, poise and dedication showed us all that anything is possible. <br /><br />That Facebook can be used for more than just promoting comedy shows and sharing with 1800 people how wasted you were last night. And that Twitter can mobilize rallies for democracy instead of just inform us what Shaquille O'Neal had for lunch. <br /><br />It took the Egyptian people 18 days to bring down a dictator. It took me 18 days to decide which coffeemaker to buy on Amazon.com. Talk about using your time productively.<br /><br />The road to democracy in Egypt will be difficult and messy. But the truth is our democracy is still difficult and messy after 234 years. The U.S. wants Egypt to be just the way we are. But Egypt can produce a democracy that's even more, well, democratic than ours.<br /><br />First, your military. I know you love those guys and most of them are an admirable group. And they stood by you in the most trying of times. But once they guide your country through the transition to free and fair elections, make sure they don't decide to run the country. I'm not saying they would, but just in case. And when you prepare your first budget don't give them a crazy amount of money. We do that here and quite frankly it's largely a big waste of money that could be better spent on social programs here at home.<br /><br />Now that you'll be able to criticize your government and speak freely on all issues, go ahead and enjoy! But don't create shows where people of opposing views yell at each other and talk in sound bites. We do that in the US and it just appeals to the lowest common denominator.<br /><br />Have plenty of good, thorough news programs. And make sure all of your cable systems carry Al Jazeera. And The Daily Show. <br /><br />And insist that your politicians be intelligent. And don't give them reality shows. In fact, don't have reality shows, period. There's nothing like a good half hour scripted comedy. But I digress.<br /><br />I hope you can find a President like ours, who is worldly, really smart, thoughtful, and who understands what you're going through. <br /><br />And try to make it possible for people to run for office who don't have a lot of money. And insist on a single payer health care plan. And keep trying to help bring about peace between Israelis and Palestinians. <br /><br />The truth is, I don't even have to be telling you this. If you can overthrow a dictator in 18 days, you can do anything!<br /><br />And remember. Not only can your democracy be as good as ours, it can be even better.<br /><br />Happy Valentine's Day!Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-34317056620581460002011-01-16T16:25:00.005-05:002011-01-16T17:47:56.245-05:00It's The Guns, StupidIn the week since the shootings in Arizona, there have been many comments about Sarah Palin, the Tea Party, and civility.<br />And comparatively very little has been said about guns. <br /><br />And what limited discussion about guns there has been, has largely focused on how it's pointless to make guns laws more strict, and how we should make it easier for Americans to get their hands on a gun. How much easier could it possibly get? And yet, the NRA and its many followers in civilian life and Congress, keep making the most twisted arguments in favor of a Wild West gun mentality. <br /><br />I'm tired of hearing people say, "Criminals will always find a way to get a gun, so why punish law abiding citizens with stricter gun laws?" Jared Loughner could easily have been prevented from getting a gun because a far more thorough and lengthy background check would have turned up many red flags. And even if, at the very least, he was forced to spend much more time in search of a gun, that might have given authorities the chance to catch up with him before he committed his crimes. <br /><br />Why should gun background checks be instant when just about everything else we want in America takes so much longer? Anyone who has closed on a house, knows that process can often take several weeks, or even months, and require hundreds of pages of documents and records. On a smaller scale, when you order cable for your new place, it can often be at least a week before you can get an appointment. And then you still have to wait four hours waiting for the cable guy to arrive. Neither closing on a house or getting cable installed is a life and death matter, although some people treat it as such. Yet we put up with the inconvenience of waiting, because frankly, we can afford to wait.<br /><br />Any law abiding citizen who wants to buy a gun can also afford to wait. Anyone who objects to a thorough background check, no matter how long it takes, clearly has something to hide. And it's not the Constitution. This should apply to gun shows as well. As the laws in most states now stand, anyone can stroll up to the kind of gun show held so tastefully this weekend in Tucson, and buy the assault weapon of their dreams on the spot. <br /><br />Why does any law abiding citizen need an AK-47? Are they a hunter seeking to eradicate the entire deer species all in one afternoon? Or are they expecting an invasion by a foreign army in their sub-division? The same goes for the extended ammunition clips Loughner used with his Glock 19. What law abiding uses are there for shooting 30 rounds without needing to reload?<br /><br />How can it possibly be so difficult and controversial for Congress to reinstate the assault weapons ban which expired in 2004, due to the cowardice of both Republicans and Democrats? Even if you think the Constitution gives you the right to bear arms, those arms do not include weapons of mass destruction like military-style assault weapons. And if you think you should be able to buy any kind of gun at any time, why not expand your options to missiles and bombs too?<br /><br />Some people say we need assault weapons for the day the government will attack its people by going door to door and taking away their guns. If you truly believe this scenario, you don't need more guns, you need a psychiatrist. But they are not alone. <br /><br />The craziness of this past week is not confined to the Arizona shooter. If the people of the United States, and its representatives in Congress do not insist upon doing everything in their power to prevent what happened in Tucson from happening again, this country can rightfully be considered crazy. No one is talking about "taking away your guns". We need the kind of exhaustive, effective federal background checks that, while not foolproof, will at least make this country much safer than it is now. And to ban the kinds of weapons only the military and law enforcement personnel really need.<br /><br />Because being civil to one another requires changing our gun laws so that we are once again a civilized society.Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-582587612428989582011-01-05T13:23:00.006-05:002011-01-05T14:15:01.821-05:00Navy Defends Country From ComedyAs a comedian, I hate jokes that are moronic, low brow, mean spirited and geared to the lowest common denominator. Which pretty much describes the excerpts of the videos by Captain Owen Honors which led the Navy to fire him this week.<br /><br />If Captain Honors openly discriminated against gay soldiers under his command, and created the videos to foster an environment where gay sailors felt uncomfortable, his removal is the right thing to do.<br /><br />But if the videos were simply the work of an unfunny, uncreative Captain, who thought gay jokes and sex jokes in general would make his sailors laugh, perhaps we should slow our rush to judgment. Because what is tasteless and offensive to one person can be a belly laugh for someone else. And I have the personal experience to back that up. Early in my career, I was working with the legendary Andrew Dice Clay, whom I met through comedy and consider to be a nice guy. His comedy persona is considered by many to be offensive, but on that night at a comedy club on Long Island, my political jokes about then President Reagan drew hisses and boos, while the Diceman's four letter tirades against women and other groups were greeted with a standing ovation.<br /><br />Comedy should never have to be defended. It should be laughed at, hissed at or reacted to with silence. So if Captain Honors treated his sailors equally, with respect and appreciation, and confined his ignorance to stupid jokes, then he should not have been fired.<br /><br />Of course, in keeping with the climate of our times, he won't have the chance to answer whether or not the videos were representative of any deep seeded negativity towards gay people, or simply the work of someone with a rather stupid sense of humor.<br /><br />Last year, three personalities were abruptly fired after comments deemed to be offensive. Helen Thomas, Rick Sanchez and Juan Williams never had the chance to tell us if they stood by what they said, or felt the need for clarification. In an open society, we should reserve judgment and consequences until we know what the person really thinks. And even if they stand by opinions we find distasteful, not every situation calls for punishment and excommunication.<br /><br />There are things I find offensive, distasteful and reprehensible. The deception in the rush to war in Iraq based on lies from our President, Vice President and other government figures. And the despicable embrace of torture, to this day, by Bush, Cheney and others. That is the kind of thinking and behavior that sets a bad example, and is a total failure of leadership.<br /><br />If Captain Honors was a bad commander who treated gay sailors in a less respectful manner than everyone else, and harbored any ill will towards them, he has no place in the military. But if it was simply a case of making videos that were dumb and not funny, he deserved a chance to explain himself.Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-1931483457652110032010-06-24T15:46:00.007-04:002010-06-24T16:35:53.965-04:00No News Is Bad News For CNNJonathan Klein, the CNN/U.S. president, said yesterday that the new 8 pm show co-hosted by Eliot Spitzer and Kathleen Parker, would be a “roundup of all the best ideas” of the day. Which sounds a bit like plagiarism.<br /><br />But the real news here is not what the new show is, but what it isn't.<br /><br />Even if Spitzer and Parker overcome their very limited television hosting experience, and their show offers a variety of viewpoints with a minimum of shouting, it is still not the show CNN should be doing at 8 pm. In fact, they shouldn't be doing a "show" at all.<br /><br />Instead of coming up with a toned down version of the discredited "Crossfire", CNN should have returned to its long forgotten roots and made the 8 o'clock hour a newscast. Although CNN covers "breaking news" during the day, there isn't a comprehensive, scripted hour of news anywhere on their schedule.<br /><br />With their expansive global news resources, CNN is well positioned to produce a compelling, substantial hour of news that would also do well in the ratings. Another talking heads show, even if it is a more even-handed one, cannot compete against Bill O'Reilly and Keith Olbermann. The neglected demographic is the sizeable group of people, like myself, who crave a newscast in the mold of BBC World News and Canada's The National.<br /><br />And 8 pm would be an ideal time to hook the news junkies who aren't home at 6:30, or find the network news shows at that hour to be increasingly not worth watching, because of their high fluff factor.<br /><br />CNN could start a solid newscast like this in a matter of days, not weeks or months. There are many highly qualified reporters already at CNN who could handle the anchor chores. And the reporters in the field around the world give CNN a global reach the networks can't match.<br /><br />There should be a place somewhere on CNN's schedule for an opinion show that truly delves into issues with intelligence and civility. But what we really need at 8 pm is not the talk show CNN will be giving us in the fall. We need a newscast that is all about the news, not the person delivering the news.<br /><br />If CNN did an 8 o'clock newscast, it would be good news for the industry and for our country.Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-70974594142837404912010-06-11T12:31:00.018-04:002010-06-11T15:02:40.099-04:00Lazy Reporters, Politicians and Comedians Bring Helen Thomas Down as an Unquestioning Public CheersThe fact that writing about Helen Thomas four days after she resigned feels like old news, tells you something about what's wrong with the media and our country today.<br /><br />After a journalism career spanning almost seventy years, Thomas was taken down in less than two minutes. Which is the running time of the video where she made the remarks that forced her to resign her job, lose her book collaborator, her lecture agent and have a Washington-area high school cancel a graduation speech she was scheduled to deliver. <br /><br />Most people are also unaware that the person who conducted the video interview in late May, was not a reputable journalist like Helen Thomas, but a right- wing Long Island Rabbi with a website, which apparently is all you need to get press credentials to The White House for a Jewish Heritage event. Rabbi David Nesenoff uploaded the video to his website under the caption "Helen Thomas Tells Jews To Go Back To Germany". Which isn't a nice thing for her to say. Except she didn't say it.<br /><br />Let's take a quick break to give you an unedited transcript of their exchange:<br /> <br /> RABBI DAVID NESENOFF: Any advice for these young people over here for starting out in the press corps?<br /><br /> HELEN THOMAS: Go for it. You’ll never be unhappy. You’ll always keep people informed. And you’ll always keep learning. The greatest thing of the profession is never stop learning.<br /><br /> RABBI DAVID NESENOFF: Today they’re covering the Jewish Heritage Month. Any—<br /><br /> HELEN THOMAS: Are they going to meet the President?<br /><br /> RABBI DAVID NESENOFF: Yeah, and any comments on Israel? We’re asking everybody today. Any comments on Israel?<br /><br /> HELEN THOMAS: Tell them to get the hell out of Palestine.<br /><br /> RABBI DAVID NESENOFF: Ooh, any better comments than that?<br /><br /> UNIDENTIFIED: Helen is blunt.<br /><br /> HELEN THOMAS: Remember, these people are occupied, and it’s their land. It’s not Germany, and it’s not Poland.<br /><br /> RABBI DAVID NESENOFF: So where should they go? What should they do?<br /><br /> HELEN THOMAS: They could go home.<br /><br /> RABBI DAVID NESENOFF: Where is their home?<br /><br /> HELEN THOMAS: Poland, Germany—<br /><br /> RABBI DAVID NESENOFF: So the Jews—you’re saying Jews should go back to Poland and Germany?<br /><br /> HELEN THOMAS: —and America and everywhere else. Why push people out of there who have lived there for centuries? See?<br /><br /> RABBI DAVID NESENOFF: Now, are you familiar with the history of that region and what took place?<br /><br /> HELEN THOMAS: Very much. I’m of Arab background.<br /><br /> RABBI DAVID NESENOFF: I see.<br /><br />(At that point, Nesenoff asks Helen if she speaks Arabic, and she says she does not. Nesenoff says a few words to her in Arabic. And then Thomas ended the interview with)<br /><br />HELEN THOMAS: Go for journalism. You'll never regret it.<br /><br />Helen Thomas issued a statement saying, "I deeply regret my comments I made last week regarding the Israelis and the Palestinians. They do not reflect my heart-felt belief that peace will come to the Middle East only when all parties recognize the need for mutual respect and tolerance. May that day come soon," she wrote.<br /><br />However crass, undiplomatic and imprecise her language, it is clear that Thomas was merely advocating the same two state solution that myself and a majority of Americans, Israelis and Palestinians support. And an end to an occupation that is considered illegal by international law. Whether the land really belongs to Palestinians or Israelis, no one will ever know. I'm pretty sure they didn't save the receipts. Thomas clearly means "Israeli" settlers in the West Bank, as the people who should go somewhere else. And while of course she should have listed "Israel" as the first place they could go, the notion of Israeli and other Jews also living in 2010 Germany and Poland is simply not the same as what she has been recklessly accused of saying. Sending Jews back to the Germany and Poland of the Nazi years.<br /><br />What does Rabbi Nesenoff think about who the land belongs to? This is what he writes on his website RabbiLive.com<br /><br /><blockquote>So after the Holocaust in the late 1940s it was a natural for the Jews to go back there-- to their land and reclaim it again. And with the world feeling really guilty right after the Holocaust it made it that much easier to get the land back and kick out hundreds of thousands of Arabs who were living there and dwelling peacefully with their families and loved ones. But it was ours first as it was promised to us by G-d in the Torah so we have a claim to it. <span style="font-style:italic;"></span></blockquote><br /><br />Whether you agree with Helen Thomas is not important. But to all those who delight in her excommunication, here is Helen Thomas, at age 85, in action on March 21, 2006, the first time President Bush directly called on her in three years<br /><br /> <br /><blockquote>"I'd like to ask you, Mr. President, your decision to invade Iraq has caused the deaths of thousands of Americans and Iraqis, wounds of Americans and Iraqis for a lifetime. Every reason given, publicly at least, has turned out not to be true. My question is: Why did you really want to go to war? From the moment you stepped into the White House, from your Cabinet...your Cabinet officers, intelligence people, and so forth...what was your real reason? You have said it wasn't oil...quest for oil, it hasn't been Israel, or anything else. What was it?"<br /><br />Contrast those powerful,insightful words from an American journalism treasure to those of Howard Stern.<br /><br /></blockquote><br />“Maybe you should go home,” “Maybe you should go back to where you came from. Maybe you should go to Lebanon now that we don’t need you anymore as a reporter. You big fat cow. I like that she thinks she’s from America so she’s where she is. She’s where she’s supposed to be. She should go back to Lebanon. I don’t know why she’s here. She’s occupying America with her big, fat ass.” Hopefully the planet will be rid of her soon. Maybe she'll stroke out or something. That would be nice." <span style="font-style:italic;"><br /></span><br /><br />After reading Stern's venom, you might want to take a shower. Better yet, here's another Helen Thomas gem from a recent interview in <span style="font-style:italic;">Vice Magazine</span>:<br /><br /><blockquote>"In the run-up to the Iraq War, no one asked for proof of weapons of mass destruction. It was very, very clear that President Bush wanted to go to war at any cost. And he would not go back to the UN and allow them three more months to look and see if it was really true. We went to war on lies.<br />That’s the reason we’re so easily led down the garden path—nobody’s asking “why?” The question “why?” should always be there. What is the reason this other government or these people would do this to us? But I had the impression that throughout the whole country, truth took a holiday. There’s been very little search for truth, except for a few people who have spoken out." </blockquote><br /><br />On June 3, Rabbi Nemeroff posted an edited version of the Helen Thomas interview (1:03 minutes) on You Tube. It has received 1,582,238 hits. On June 7, after Thomas resigned, the unedited version(1:58 minutes)was posted. To date, it has 61,746 hits.Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-36502792510095763872010-04-25T13:46:00.000-04:002010-04-25T13:47:02.225-04:00Crackdown on Ignorance Should Target Arizona LawmakersGovernor Jan Brewer said the Arizona police would not use racial profiling, even though the whole point of the immigration bill she signed into law yesterday <span style="font-style:italic;">is</span> to racially profile and harass Hispanics. Brewer was expected to receive the endorsement of racist groups in Arizona and across the country, and the overwhelming support of those who post misspelled, incoherent gibberish on online message boards.<br /><br />The bill appears to weaken the chance of Republicans ever attracting one Hispanic vote in this country, although they apparently hope it will appeal to Hispanics with low self-esteem who support being stopped by police for no apparent reason.<br /><br />State Senator Russell Pearce is uniquely qualified to be the sponsor of the new law. When Pearce posed for a photo with a man who was a featured speaker at a neo-Nazi conference, he said he didn't know that the man was a neo-Nazi, although you would think the swastika might have been a tip-off. Arizona police did not say if they will use a German accent when they racially profile Hispanics and demand they "show us your papers!".<br /><br />Pearce helped burnish his credentials in 2006, when he praised a 1950's federal deportation program called Operation Wetback that could open up the possibility of police deporting anyone who might be sweating on a lovely 110 degree day in Phoenix.<br /><br />And Pearce once "inadvertently" sent an email to supporters with an attachment by a white supremacist group. The only person who could "inadvertently" attach a white supremacist document is someone who could pose with a neo-Nazi and not know he's a neo-Nazi.<br /><br />In a related move, Senator John McCain sold his soul to the devil. After a lifetime of fighting immigration measures like this, McCain supported the bill and answered the question of which John McCain he is now. Apparently, he's the John McCain who voted against making Martin Luther King's birthday a federal holiday in 1983.<br /><br />The Arizona immigration bill signed into law yesterday almost makes the stupidity and vileness of the "Obama is a Socialist, Communist, Nazi Fascist" signs at Tea Party rallies, and the mind-blowingly vapid and mean ramblings of Michele Bachmann ("We have a gangster government in Washington") pale in comparison. Those are just disgusting words. What Arizona has done is a disgusting deed.<br /><br />So until Arizona repeals this un-American bill, the closest I'm going to get to the Grand Canyon is looking at a photo of it in an old National Geographic.Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-13504108946074641522010-03-04T09:28:00.016-05:002010-03-08T17:06:05.746-05:00Were Laws of Gravity Passed Through Reconciliation?The Kentucky Legislature recently introduced a bill that would encourage teachers to discuss “the advantages and disadvantages of scientific theories,” including “evolution, the origins of life, global warming and human cloning.” <br /><br />But why stop there?<br /><br />Maybe it's time to revisit the whole question of whether the earth is actually flat after all. Skeptics point to those images from space that clearly show a round globe. But how hard would it be to do some editing tricks with Photoshop to give the illusion of roundness? Skeptics also say that if the earth was flat we would hear stories of people falling off constantly. But it's pretty hard for people who just fell off the earth to tell their story to the media<br /><br />The round earth camp clings to a belief in mysterious gravitational forces that keep Brazil from falling backwards into space. Maybe revelers in Rio have been flying into space, but people are too drunk to notice. <br /><br />When was the last time anyone took an unbiased look at the laws of gravity? Who wrote these laws and were they passed through reconciliation? <br /><br />If reconciliation is "the nuclear option" Republicans and conservative media say it is, does that mean Iran is secretly building a 51 vote majority to drop on Israel?<br /><br />Isn't it time to insist that we stop the threat of 51 vote majorities around the world, especially in the volatile Middle East region? A good first step might be to use unmanned drones to target parliamentarians around the world. They seek to impose a new Robert's Rules Of Order in the world, that forces countries to adopt the undemocratic nuclear option of majority rule.<br /><br />To those who support this nuclear option of a 51 vote majority, where is the money going to come from to pay for it? That's what Senator Jim Bunning of Kentucky probably had in mind when he singlehandedly held up unemployment insurance for hundreds of thousands of Americans by refusing to allow a vote on it. Democracy may look good on paper, especially parchment, but in a recession, the American taxpaper just can't afford these reckless majority rule votes. <br /><br />To those who are so quick to criticize Jim Bunning, did you ever consider that maybe he was holding up the unemployment insurance vote to maintain his Time Magazine ranking as one of the Five Worst Senators? Although political correctness tells us not to value victory, a former star pitcher like Jim Bunning knows the value of winning any kind of prize, even one that the liberal media gives a negative connotation. <br /><br />In addition to evolution and global warming, maybe Bunning's home state of Kentucky will challenge another long established theory that Republicans and conservatives have questioned recently.<br /><br />The truth.Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-58040847704273726812009-12-28T10:15:00.009-05:002009-12-28T11:32:42.815-05:00The End Of The Year As We Know It<span style="font-weight:bold;">In 525,600 minutes-how do you measure a year in the life?</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Seasons of Love, Jonathan Larson, RENT</span><br /><br />2009 was the year a lot happened and not a lot changed.<br /><br />But the one big change, the inauguration of our new President Barack Obama, lifted up this standup comedian even though it meant getting rid of most of my Bush material.<br /><br />I went to the Inauguration. I was a little far back in the crowd. I was in Virginia.<br /><br />Change was certainly in the air at the Inaugural concert two days earlier when a bald eagle was gently brought on stage to flutter about for a few moments. If this was Bush's inaugural, Dick Cheney would have shot the bald eagle. And simultaneously taken it off the endangered species list. While I was in DC, I saw Cheney's limo whisk by one day. I knew it was Cheney because instead of a siren, a voice from the limo barked, "Get out of my way. I'm right and you're wrong."<br /><br />I visited the new Capitol Visitors Center gift shop, where for the first time in eight years, you could find the Constitution. I also saw Rod Blagojevich(remember him?) scalping tickets on the corner.<br /><br />When I listened to Obama's inspiring words, and heard him talk soberly about the economy, I realized something. I needed to learn what a mutual fund was. And default swaps. Although, almost a year later, even the guys who caused this mess still haven't figured out what default swaps are.<br /><br />We do know that what the bankers and traders were doing wasn't "God's work" as the CEO of Goldman Sachs actually said with a straight face. If we asked God, I don't think he would want to take credit for the reckless and arrogant bets the financial "experts" made to satisfy their greed.<br /><br />But bailing out the banks turned out to be the right thing to do. And the economic stimulus has created and helped save jobs. There's still a lot of work to do, and far too many Americans are out of work, but it could have been a lot worse.<br /><br />The year comes to a close with the strong prospect of healthcare reform becoming a reality after months of debate. And to those who say the Democrats have tried to rush the process, just think about how long and how much all of us talked about health care this year. <br /><br />I feel a little responsible for the long and drawn out process of debating healthcare reform. Early in the year, someone with a clipboard came up to me on the street and asked if "I had a minute for healthcare reform?" I said I was busy and kept walking. Maybe if I had taken a minute, we would have had a healthcare bill back in March. With all the yelling and screaming that went on after that, that might have been better for everyone's health.<br /><br />The "death panels" aren't in either bill. In fact it was never in any bill. Those end of life provisions were the same ones that Sarah Palin and other Republicans had been in favor of before they were against them. By standing together in opposition to a bill without death panels and a public option, Senate Republicans showed that they were only thinking about the health of the Republican party, not the American people. And Democrat Ben Nelson also showed that he doesn't care about babies or women or anyone but Ben Nelson. Not only did he give women less choices in a healthcare bill designed to increase choice, but the unethical and perhaps unlawful special treatment he received for Nebraska in the bill, should make him change his title from Senator to King of Mutual of Omaha.<br /><br />We all received some misleading health care emails this year. Some were pretty bogus. I got one that was written by the same Nigerian prince who claims you have 800 million dollars waiting for you in the bank.<br /><br />There were unimportant things that happened in 2009 that got way too much attention. Many on the right were appalled when President Obama bowed to the Saudi King and the Emperor of Japan. What's wrong with showing some respect and courtesy? If Obama had curtsied, I would have been concerned.<br /><br />But the year's most publicized story, Tiger Woods, had nothing to do with healthcare, Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, terrorism, the economy, or anything else remotely important to any of us, except for a few people in Tiger's inner circle and family.<br /><br />Not talking about Tiger Woods is one of the things I'm looking forward to in 2010.<br /><br />I wish all of you a Happy, Healthy New Year. And most of all, let's remember this.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">It’s time now to sing out, though the story never ends, let's celebrate, remember a year in the life of friends. Remember the love! Remember the love! Remember the love! Measure in love. Seasons of love! Seasons of love.</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Seasons of Love, Jonathan Larson, RENT</span>Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-39755287467624605862009-12-14T12:14:00.008-05:002009-12-14T12:54:19.035-05:00Tiger Woods Story Found To Have Nothing To Do with Healthcare Reform Or Anything Else Important To UsAlthough you wouldn't know it by the front page tabloid news stories or the endless panel discussions on television, the Tiger Woods story has nothing to do with our lives, and should only be important to the people in Tiger's life. And not surprisingly, the rest of the world feels the same way.<br /><br />Afghan civilians are not saying, "I know we live in a country with a corrupt government and rampant poverty and illiteracy, but what we really want to know is how many women did Tiger sleep with?"<br /><br />Participants at the Global Warming conference in Copenhagen have not been heard complaining, "Why is The New York Times publishing front page stories about how man-made greenhouse gases are imperiling the planet, instead of pictures of the cocktail waitresses Tiger was with?<br /><br />And the tens of thousands of people in Copenhagen demonstrating for more drastic action to reverse global warming, haven't carried posters saying "Please don't have any news coverage of this protest because it takes up valuable time that could be used to cover the Tiger Woods story".<br /><br />The 30 million Americans without health insurance aren't saying, "I know that because we can't afford quality health care, 45,000 of us will die this year, but what I'm really worried about is the effect of Tiger's absence on the PGA Tour."<br /><br />Palestinians facing a humanitarian crisis in Gaza have not been heard to say, "Sure we have no electricity or running water and hardly any food, but we'd rather see nonstop Tiger coverage in the media than any coverage of what we're going through."<br /><br />So, as my family would say, "Enough already". I hope Tiger can somehow find a way to repair the damage he has caused to his family. But I'm not going to give it any thought. And I know there are plenty of people around the world who feel the same way I do.Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-12916368051585693152009-12-02T16:07:00.005-05:002009-12-02T17:00:17.741-05:00Old Bush Speech Inadvertently Put On Obama's Teleprompter at West PointWhen I woke up this morning, I was hoping to hear that President Obama really didn't say he was going to send 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan. That it had just been a bad dream. Or that an old war speech of George W. Bush was somehow put on Obama's teleprompter by mistake. The Nobel Peace Prize committee was probably hoping the same thing.<br /><br />Obama's address at West Point was the most compelling speech that I have ever disagreed with. It was like a brilliant summation by a trial lawyer defending a hopelessly guilty client. For a minute, I wanted to believe he was right, but then I came to my senses.<br /><br />Even though it was well delivered, the speech didn't really sound like the Obama I voted for. It almost sounded like one of those forced propaganda videos that hostages have to deliver.<br /><br />I agree with those who say the speech should have been given from the Oval Office. The only crowd noise you can expect there is if the cameraman sneezes. It's hard to sound upbeat as you're facing into a sea of grey uniforms. Military audiences are usually great(as comedians who have performed for them can attest to),but the cadets had been in their seats for four hours before the speech began. And they had probably been up since 5 am. And they were being told they were going to Afghanistan. Not a happy combination. No wonder there were only four applause breaks. I wonder whether the standing ovation at the end was because of what Obama said, or because they were just happy to get the chance to stand up.<br /><br />President Obama deserves much credit for finally putting the focus on Afghanistan, after seven years of being virtually ignored by the Bush Administration. Had Bush and Cheney not diverted all their attention and most of our resources to the disastrously unnecessary war in Iraq, the situation in Afghanistan would probably be under control today. A fact that the eternally delusional Dick Cheney refuses to accept. Instead of ever admitting to any mistakes, he prefers to verbally attack Obama for being weak because he bowed to the Japanese leader. He bowed because that's the polite, culturally acceptable thing to do. Of course, a man like Cheney isn't interested in respecting other cultures, he just likes invading them. <br /><br />Although I'm against this troop surge, I'm proud that President Obama has made great strides in trying to engage the countries of the world through diplomacy. And I hope that there is a diplomatic surge in Afghanistan that goes hand in hand with the military one.<br /><br />And so to all of my conservative friends who thought that I would support the troop surge from Obama that I didn't support from Bush, there you have it. I think the President is wrong on this one. But I am still thrilled that he is our President. <br /><br />It's like the way you feel when a good friend lets you down. It hurts, you're disappointed, but you still stay friends. Because in friendship and in politics, we need to hold on to the things that bring us together, not pull us apart.Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-74136755024324642682009-11-20T15:34:00.009-05:002009-11-20T16:18:20.103-05:00In Defense of TurkeysWhat did turkeys ever do to be compared with human beings who behave badly?<br /><br />Being a city boy, I haven't met many turkeys over the years, but the ones I've encountered are pleasant birds who have a remarkably sunny disposition considering the fact that many of them won't live past Thanksgiving. It's funny to hear the sounds they make and to watch them spread their wings. I can't say the same about those people who are called turkeys. They're not fun to watch or listen to, and generally don't have pleasant dispositions even though they're very likely to be alive after November 26.<br /><br />So I'm not going to call the politicians who I think behaved badly this year turkeys, because they don't deserve to be in the same company as our fine feathered friends. <br /><br />Because turkeys would never put politics and their personal self-interest above the greater good, the way almost all Republicans did this year in the healthcare debate.<br /><br />I know it's hard to tell, but I even think turkeys have the sense of humor sorely lacking in many of our leaders. While President Obama has a wonderful sense of humor and is spontaneously funny, I can't say the same for our Congressional leaders.<br /><br />John Boehner is humorless, Mitch McConnell has never come close to cracking a smile, and Harry Reid acts like a well meaning undertaker. Nancy Pelosi, on the other hand, is always smiling. Even if she may not always get the joke.<br /><br />Turkeys aren't hypocrites either. Like those sanctimonious politicians who preach family values and then get arrested in public restrooms, or abandon their state and their responsibilities to run off with a mistress in Argentina. These politicians are given a sacred trust by the people and promptly abuse that trust. <br /><br />Turkeys seem to have a sense of the limited time they have on earth, and seem content to make the most of their wing flapping, cute noisemaking days.<br /><br />So this Thanksgiving, let's show a little respect for turkeys, whether they bought the farm or are still on the farm. And the next time you see a human being behaving badly, don't call them a turkey. Turkeys deserve better than that.Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-58651905005028037022009-11-11T10:50:00.006-05:002009-11-11T11:20:52.678-05:00New Poll Finds Little Faith in PollsThere aren't many things we can be certain of these days, but here are a few.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">There is a poll out there that will support every conceivable opinion on any issue.</span> Just pick the one you like, and pretend that it actually holds any significance whatsoever. For example, I love the poll that says 100% of the people writing this column agree with everything in it. And why are polls treated as a news story, when in all probability, they aren't even accurate? And even if by some fluke, the poll is on the money, why should anyone care? If people and politicians base their opinions on polls that are wrong most of the time, that could lead to having positions that are wrong for the country. That's not my opinion, I got it from some poll.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Republicans Will Be Against Everything Democrats Want.</span><br />I'm not a betting man, but I wish there was money to be made in guessing how Republicans will vote in Congress. In fact, you just have to bet that they'll say "No" to everything Democrats propose and leave it at that. They're even against things they're for, if a Democrat wants it too. If the Democrats proposed a bill called "The Republicans Are Great Act of 2009", Republicans would still oppose it. I heard that to make it easier on themselves, Republicans had the "Yes" button removed from their voting consoles.<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Foreign News Is Foreign to American TV News<br /></span><br />When the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall was celebrated this week, you would think that would be a huge story here. World News with Charles Gibson ran the story last on its newscast the day of the anniversary. I guess the fall of Communism pales in comparison to a story about a dog who plays baseball. If it was a dog playing soccer they wouldn't cover it. Soccer is too foreign. Coverage like that is why Americans are so ignorant about other countries. The first time we've ever heard of some countries is when the U.S. goes to war with them. Maybe if the media and all of us followed world news a little more, the U.S. would do a better job of foreign policy. Instead of just being the most informed country about dogs playing baseball.<br /><br />Not all dogs of course. Just 18%. Or 35%. Or none. Depending on which poll you read.Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-23946226673170185912009-10-30T12:29:00.005-04:002009-10-30T13:35:30.460-04:00What If They Gave An Election and Nobody Came?I don't understand why people are calling Tuesday an "off year election". Is 2009 not really a year? Is this Election Day not really an election? For a country that spends a lot of time promoting democracy around the world, our primary(and general election) concern should be about the voting process here in the U.S.<br /><br />I did a show the other night for about 50 people and I told them there were more people in the audience than had voted in New York City's runoff election. Actually a whopping 8% of eligible voters bothered to exercise their democratic right last month. I was one of the select fee who voted. The bored election officials applauded when I entered the empty polling place.<br /><br />I love voting. Sometimes I even wave when I leave the voting booth, just to confuse people. "Is that guy running for something?", they probably ask themselves.<br /><br />In a recent primary in Virginia, the turnout was 3%. 3% is the margin of error in a poll. So it's actually possible no one voted.<br /><br />I remember a few years ago when there were elections in Haiti, people voted as they were getting shot at. In New York, people don't vote when it's partly cloudy. They complain, "I have to put my coat on, walk two blocks. Do they deliver?"<br /><br />The media doesn't help when they broadcast polls that tell us who would win if the election were held today. If the election were held today, nobody would vote, because it's not Election Day.<br /><br />New York City Mayor Bloomberg is so rich he turned down living in the opulent Gracie Mansion. He probably thought, "I'd much rather live in my larger, more expensive home."<br /><br />Bloomberg has spent more than $85 million in his reelection campaign so far and will probably top $100 million. That's more than the GNP of some developing countries. We would have been better off if Bloomberg just handed the money to us directly. His opponent Bill Thompson has only $6.6 million to spend. When $6.6 million is "only", there's a problem somewhere.<br /><br />But that's no excuse not to vote. Not only do you have no right to complain if you don't bother to vote, but I propose that elected officials only listen to constituents who voted(for them or anyone else). <br /><br />So on Tuesday go out there and vote. If past turnout is any indication, there won't be long lines. But it would be better for our country if there were.Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-6845749031858043022009-10-21T15:08:00.007-04:002009-10-21T16:10:37.448-04:00Does The White House Support Military Action Against Fox News?A major priority of President Obama has been to engage in diplomacy with adversaries like Iran and North Korea, and to pursue a vigorous diplomatic strategy between the Israelis and Palestinians. The militaristic tone of the Bush administration has been replaced(and Nobel Peace prize rewarded)by one of engagement.<br /><br />Which makes it all the more puzzling why the White House seems unwilling to talk to Fox News, and has accused it of not being a real news organization. The first salvo was fired by the White House Director of Communications, who apparently isn't very good at living up to her title. The Obama administration has reached out repeatedly to Republicans and conservative Democrats to achieve a consensus on healthcare reform and other issues. So why not talk to Fox News?<br /><br />As a regular guest on The Strategy Room at foxnews.com, I have had the pleasure and privilege of engaging in spirited but respectful discourse with pundits from the left, right and center. Each show is hosted by a skilled reporter from Fox News, who I may sometimes vehemently disagree with, but always respect their journalistic integrity. To insinuate that these hard working journalists are not part of a real news organization is offensive and completely offbase.<br /><br />As a liberal political comedian, I can find comedic fodder with some of the opinion/entertainment hosts at the channel, but they are clearly not part of the news gathering and reporting operation at Fox News.<br /><br />And even if one accepts The White House assertion that Fox News coverage is unfair to the President, what better way to counter that than to have Obama and other White House officials appear on Fox News to get their message across in their own words? If the Obama administration can talk to Iran and North Korea, they can surely sit down with Chris Wallace or Bill O'Reilly, as Obama did during the campaign.<br /><br />And when President Obama appeared on Fox News during the campaign, it could be argued that he gained some votes from the many independents who view the channel. Which flies in the face of the comments by Robert Gibbs and others that there is no point in trying to reach out to Fox viewers. As a comedian, I know the importance of knowing your audience. You would think that the politically savvy White House would take the time to know the Fox News audience, and not completely write them off.<br /><br />President Obama and his entire White House team should stop beating on Fox News, and start <span style="font-style:italic;">being on</span> Fox News.Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-41545081668687025642009-10-03T09:51:00.008-04:002009-10-03T18:58:29.142-04:00Public Option, Not Military OptionI think it's outrageous that there's more outrage about the public option in healthcare reform, than there is about the military option in dealing with Iran's nuclear ambitions.<br /><br />Especially because the public option is a smart, practical idea that will make it cheaper for us to buy health insurance. And the military option to bomb Iran is stupid, impractical and would ultimately be bad for everyone's health in the U.S., Israel and around the world. The public option would save lives, the military option would cause many deaths.<br /><br />And although most polls show more than 60% of Americans support the public option, those who oppose it are convinced it would lead to death panels, forced euthanasia, and the bankruptcy of the entire health insurance industry. The first two fears are based on completely wrong information. The third is based on the belief that protecting the billions in profits of insurance companies is more important than providing affordable, quality healthcare for all Americans. A public option will ideally force insurance companies to lower their premiums, and might also lead to CEO's taking a pay cut to only about $10 million a year. I know it's tough to get by on such a paltry annual salary, but maybe they can make do by selling one of their five houses.<br /><br />But I'm even more outraged by a poll that said 57% of American Jews support military action against Iran. As a Jewish American, I'm embarassed that my own people would believe in such a catastrophic and ridiculous notion. What's wrong with the US or Israel bombing Iran? How about everything? All of Iran's nuclear facilities are either hidden underground or near civilian population centers. So it would be highly unlikely to actually knock out their facilities, while it would be highly likely many innocent Iranians would be killed. And Secretary of Defense Robert Gates, who, unlike me, is an expert in these matters, believes an attack on Iran would maybe set back their program one to three years at best. But it would certainly invite retaliation against Israel, the US and Western interests around the world through terrorist attacks. And it would shut down any diplomatic relations with Iran and completely put Middle East peace prospects on an indefinite hold.<br /><br />Is it too much to ask for Americans to be smart for a change when it comes to the Middle East? You would think that the utter failure of the unjust and unnecessary war in Iraq would have taught us just a little about dealing with a country that may or may not have WMD's.<br /><br />Yes, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has made stupid, offensive comments about the Holocaust. And he has spoken out against the Israeli occupation of the Palestinian people. But he knows that if Iran attacked Israel, there would be swift and massive retaliation. And since all he really cares about is staying in power, (as the recent fake election attests to), that is not something he would want to happen.<br /><br />So let's drop all the Nazi analogies from the Iran debate, as well as from the healthcare debate too. Let's try, for a moment, to look at both options in a clear, non-emotional way.<br /><br />Which sounds like a smart option to you? Lowering our healthcare costs with a public option, or raising the threat level with the military option against Iran?<br /><br />The choice is yours.Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-31790008880173602952009-09-15T11:48:00.007-04:002009-09-15T13:07:54.925-04:00Democrats Still Not Aware They Actually Won The ElectionLast November, Democrats took back the White House and the Congress with a huge mandate from the American people. Ever since then, Democrats in Congress have been acting as if they actually lost the election instead.<br /><br />Their latest act of spinelessness came yesterday when the Senate voted 83-7 to deny ACORN any federal funds. Apparently, Democrats have never met a right wing smear campaign they didn't like. <br /><br />The Senate's move means that ACORN, the most effective organization for helping low income people avoid foreclosures, will not be able to receive grants for counseling low-income people on how to get mortgages and for fair housing education and outreach. That would be like the Census Bureau refusing to work with ACORN to count how many low income and minority Americans live in America. Which is what the wimpy Census Bureau actually did do last week, when they said they won't work with ACORN on the census. <br /><br />Who cares about minority representation in this country anyway? Apparently not Republicans and right wing pundits. Because their obsession with ACORN stems from the simple fact that the minority communities ACORN works with tend to vote Democratic. So what better way to keep down voter registration in those areas than by constantly harassing the people trying to register them? Yes there were a few instances of workers writing fake names on petitions. (Although I suppose it's possible for your name to really be Donald Duck. But not likely.) And those workers were promptly fired. As were the workers who were duped by a conservative activist filmmaker in the recent entrapment scheme caught on tape.<br /><br />But what really makes this standup comedian's hair stand up, is the way the Democrats have meekly given in to almost every right wing smear. When Van Jones was unfairly attacked and forced to resign, no one from the White House said a thing. Couldn't someone have just said, "Hey, Van Jones is the foremost authority on green jobs. He didn't say or do anything to disqualify him for that job." But they just let him go. <br /><br />Then there was the communications director for the NEA who lost his job for making a conference call. When a guy in charge of communications can't make a phone call, you would think someone might have the courage to say, "Hey, what's wrong with that?" Instead, they hung up on him too.<br /><br />Republicans, on the other hand, stand by their man. Congressman Wilson(the "you lie" guy)has been assured that his party will support him. They've even made him a cult hero. Governor Sanford mysteriously disappears, resurfaces with a mistress in Argentina, and guess what? He's still Governor. <br /><br />This standup comedian will always stand up for the right of every American to stand up for their beliefs. It's time for Democrats to stand up and catch us if we fall. If they do that, they might actually realize they won the last election.Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-66139302010704510742009-08-30T17:16:00.012-04:002009-08-31T11:14:17.755-04:00Ted Kennedy Goes Out On A LaughWhen a comedian leaves the stage at the end of a show, you always want to leave the audience laughing. No matter how well your performance was received, your last routine tends to leave the most lasting impression on the audience.<br /><br />And so it was with the closing act in the life of Ted Kennedy. Although he accomplished more than any Senator in history, the quality of his that has been referred to the most is Kennedy's great, bellowing laugh, his wonderful and at times mischievous sense of humor, and his refusal to take himself too seriously even as he grappled with the serious issues of our time.<br /><br />There were personal missteps along the way, but just as an audience allows a comedian to redeem himself after a joke misfires, Ted Kennedy left the stage for the last time with the enormous respect and gratitude of most Americans. And just like a successful comedian, he left us laughing too. <br /><br />His memorial service and his funeral were filled with wonderfully funny stories about how funny Ted Kennedy was. And how much fun he was to be around. And among those who expressed those sentiments were John McCain and Orrin Hatch, who usually disagreed with Kennedy, but as Hatch said, were "fighting brothers". Which meant these three men from widely different backgrounds and with starkly contrasting ideology, still found common ground the way a family does. Because all three men were passionate about their beliefs, passionate about public service, and passionate about getting things done for the American people. <br /><br />Today most Senators and Congressmen are passionate about themselves, passionate about their political future and passionate about being mean to those they disagree with. Those Republicans who care only about trying to defeat President Obama and hope that a failure to get healthcare reform passed will be his "Waterloo", will receive no laughter, and no applause when they leave the stage. And they will have left no lasting impression with their audience.<br /><br />And those Democrats who are more interested in protecting the interests of the insurance and pharmaceutical companies than standing up for the rights of the people, will likewise be ignored and forgotten by their audience when they leave the stage.<br /><br />Someone told me they thought the way Ted Kennedy got along with his adversaries was "old school". There's nothing old about treating people honestly and respectfully, there's nothing old about seeking the facts and honoring the truth, and there's certainly nothing old about being a nice, charming, funny, smart person who treats people in a caring way.<br /><br />I would call the political discourse of today more like elementary school, except that would be unfair to elementary school kids. And the mean spiritedness of some politicians and some of those in the media is more like high school. <br /><br />One of the few to rise above this pettiness and demonization is President Obama, whose judgement, intelligence, fairness and humor often make him appear to be the only adult in the room. That's why Ted Kennedy saw Obama as the best person to carry the Kennedy torch.<br /><br />As we approach the closing act of the healthcare debate, both Republicans and Democrats are not connecting with the audience. They can choose to leave the stage before the show is over, like some Republicans have done. They can try to win the audience over with cheap, mean-spirited material. <br /><br />Or they can do as Teddy would have done. They can be smart. They can be honest. They can be nice. And yes, they can be funny. And if they can do all of that, they will earn the standing ovation America just gave Ted Kennedy. <br /><br />And when that happens, Ted Kennedy will have the last laugh.Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-69432993234464697382009-08-19T14:14:00.015-04:002009-08-19T15:47:46.002-04:00What Do Republicans Really Want?If the Republicans actually had a platform on healthcare reform, here's my version of what it might look like.<br /><br />"As Republicans, we ask 'Who says our healthcare system doesn't work?' The CEO of AETNA made $24 million last year.It certainly works for him. Sure there's 47 million Americans who don't have health insurance, but we're more concerned about making sure those CEO's don't get a salary cut. <br /><br />That's why we hate the idea of a public option. By increasing competition and lowering costs, the CEO of AETNA might have to settle for only $12 million a year. Who can live on that? And if the insurance companies make less money, that means they'll contribute less money to our reelection campaigns. And by the way, although we hate to say anything nice about Democrats, Senate Finance Chairman Max Baucus feels the same way as we do on this. He should. He's received $3.9 million from those insurance guys.<br /><br />We hate the idea of a nameless, faceless government bureaucrat coming between you and your doctor. Of course we've never met a nameless, faceless government bureaucrat. They're pretty hard to find, being nameless and faceless and all. But we love the idea of a nameless, faceless insurance company bureaucrat coming between you and your doctor. Because they're just looking out for you. They're not in it for the money.<br /><br />Those liberals ask why we're the only industrialized nation without national healthcare. And we tell them, because we're better than everyone else! Do you really think we're going to support a government run public option just because a bunch of French people like the idea? We'd rather eat a bucket of Freedom Fries than spend a minute in that left-wing foreign-speaking country. <br /><br />And so, you might ask, what kind of healthcare reform do we support? Well, to be perfectly honest, we actually agree with about 70% of what's in all of those bills floating around. But we're not interested in seeing any healthcare reform bill passed. Even one we agree with. Why let Obama get all the credit for living up to his campaign promise, when we can defeat healthcare reform, make him look weak, and be sitting pretty in 2010? And with all the money we'll get from the insurance companies, we should win then too.<br /><br />Just between you and me, we don't know why Obama seems willing to give in on the public option. Whether it's in there or not, we're still not going to vote for the bill. So he might as well fight to keep it in there. But don't tell him we said that.<br /><br />So what kind of healthcare reform do we Republicans really want? The kind that keeps the Republican party healthy. None."Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-50457708643676164752009-08-09T10:43:00.005-04:002009-08-09T11:20:40.553-04:00Warning: Supporting Health Care Reform May Be Dangerous To Your HealthHealthy debate is what America is all about. But the ugly, undemocratic behavior by a few Americans in health care town hall meetings is making me sick.<br /><br />Democratic Congressman Brad Miller of North Carolina, who supports health care reform, even received a death threat last week. How's that for a little irony? A guy wants to make sure Americans receive better health care so they can live a longer, healthier life. And someone threatens to kill him for that.<br /><br />Town hall meetings serve the valuable and democratic purpose of giving Americans the chance to ask their representatives any question they might have about the life and death issue of health care. Maybe they should have posted a few rules online first. <br /><br />When you ask your question, give your representative a chance to answer the question, without shouting them down and yelling at them.<br /><br />Let other Americans ask a question too, without shouting them down and yelling at them.<br /><br />Don't repeat verbatim the words that conservative special interest groups are telling you to say. Change the words around a little. If you say, "I don't want a government bureaucrat coming between the doctor-patient relationship", people are going to know you didn't come up with that on your own.<br /><br />Don't believe every health care email you read. Some can be pretty bogus. I got one that was filled with misleading information. I think it was written by the same Nigerian prince that claims you have 800 million dollars waiting for you in the bank.<br /><br />I can understand if Americans don't know what a town hall meeting is all about. Remember all those town hall meetings during the runup to the Iraq war? Oh that's right. There weren't any. How about all those town hall meetings about the Bush-Cheney energy plan? Oh, yeah-there weren't any then either. In fact, Cheney kept all of the meetings about the energy bill secret. Now that's democracy in action!<br /><br />Maybe we need something like the "Beer Summit" to resolve this issue in a calm, reasonable manner. But since beer isn't the greatest thing for your health, we need another form of liquid nourishment.<br /><br />The Intravenous Summit?<br /><br />If we could all just take a deep breath, calm down, and act like people who love democracy and freedom of speech for all, we might actually be able to come up with a health care plan that most Americans could feel good about.<br /><br />Now that would be something to shout about!Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-89214598414554611262009-06-29T14:56:00.014-04:002009-06-29T16:57:58.129-04:00Finding Peace at Summer CampIn my ongoing quest to find common ground between liberals and conservatives, Democrats and Republicans, let's go to camp!<br /><br />Not just any summer camp. The Seeds of Peace camp where each summer, Israelis and Palestinians, and teenagers from other warring nations come together in an idyllic setting in Maine. To play sports, to laugh at the same jokes, and to engage in spirited, intense, yet respectful debate about the issues in the Middle East. Exactly what the "adults" on all sides have <span style="font-style:italic;">not</span> been doing.<br /><br />Just as teenagers are the people to turn to when your computer is acting up, they are also the ones who have a better handle on how to "fix" the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Consider this hopeful comment reported today by the New York Times:<br /><br />"After the dialogue sessions have ended, everyone's really OK. We get together, we hug, we kiss," said Marian, a Palestinian from Ramallah who attended camp in 2007 and returned this year to help the newcomers."<br /><br />For the past seven years, Palestinian-American comedian Dean Obeidallah and I(a Jewish-American comedian) have performed our comedy show "Standup for Peace: The Two Comedian Solution to Middle East Peace at colleges, theaters, Jewish Community Centers, synagogues and mosques across the U.S.<br /><br />And one of our most gratifying and memorable performances was in 2005 for an audience of Israelis and Palestinians in their 20's who had returned to the Seeds of Peace camp in Maine 10 years after their initial visit. The same material we perform for American audiences was equally well-received at the camp. And of course, as usual, we crafted routines specifically geared for the Israelis and Palestinians in attendance. We still fondly recall the positive comments we received after the show from Israelis and Palestinians alike, who were thankful for a chance to spend an evening together laughing, and to walk away from the show with renewed hope for a better future. Dean and I especially cherish this quote from Vera Chang:<br /> <br />"I had the honor of working at the Seeds of Peace International Camp in Maine for the Leadership Summit, where I was captivated by your Standup for Peace show. It was not only incredibly funny and entertaining, but also carried peaceful messages of understanding. It was truly amazing to witness the Israelis and Palestinians come together after the performance later that night and reenact jokes, making both sides laugh."<br /><br />I think we can all agree that the status quo in the Middle East isn't working for both Israelis and Palestinians. The rocket attacks from Hamas and Israel's bombing of Gaza only contribute to a cycle of violence that keeps both sides further away from peace. The only way to achieve peace in the Middle East is to talk. Some people say, "We tried talking; it didn't work". That's like saying, "I tried breathing; I didn't care for it".<br /> <br />When it comes to breathing new life into the quest for Middle East peace, the best place to start is the Seeds of Peace camp. And the Israeli and Palestinian teenagers there right now, know the best way to bring about peace is to talk to each other, listen to each other, express their varying points of view, and in the end, as Marian from Ramallah says, "We hug and kiss."<br /><br />Now that's the kind of common ground we can all share.Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2110916294122708591.post-81258681145741226132009-06-18T15:46:00.016-04:002009-06-18T16:56:50.365-04:00Hey, It's a Joke!Every American, whether they are liberal or conservative, Democrat or Republican, has something important in common.<br /><br />We like to laugh.<br /><br />And at a time when economic distress and other pressing problems face our country, we need to laugh now more than ever. Yet some Americans aren't just not laughing at the jokes, they want to stop comedians from telling jokes in the first place.<br /><br />Those who urge advertisers to boycott the Late Show with David Letterman because of his jokes about Sarah Palin's adult daughter, and who even seek to have Letterman fired, remind me of the reaction to Bill Maher's very different kind of comments on his "Politically Incorrect" show shortly after the attacks of September 11. And at the time, I had this letter published in The New York Times:<br /><br />"The television stations that drop ''Politically Incorrect,'' and the advertisers that boycott the show, are the ones guilty of a lack of patriotism, not its host, Bill Maher. It would be chilling if one of the first casualties of our war for freedom was our right to debate all opinions vigorously, no matter how unpopular, here at home. Whatever the nature of Mr. Maher's misinterpreted remarks, his rights and those of his guests to exercise freedom of speech should not be silenced."<br /><br />Not long after that letter was published, Maher's show was cancelled. Fortunately HBO had the good sense shortly thereafter, to hire him as the host of a new show.<br /><br />Letterman's Palin jokes were like all jokes. Some people thought they were funny. Some people didn't think they were funny. And some people were offended. The same three reactions all comedians, including myself, can expect. In the past, if you didn't think someone on television was funny, you had a surefire option. Turn the channel. Lately, some Americans seem to be ignoring their remote in favor of an advertiser boycott.<br /><br />So far, only Embassy Suites(a Hilton family hotel) has caved in to the pressure from a handful of Americans, and cancelled its online advertising for the Letterman show and CBS. Which drew the ire of the letter writer in me once again. To the Hilton office, I wrote:<br /><br />"As a longtime Hilton Honors member and a former warmup comedian for the Late Show with David Letterman, I was extremely disappointed to learn that Embassy Suites was pulling its online advertising for the Letterman show. By giving in to the pressure of right wing groups, Embassy Suites and the entire family of Hilton hotels, is rejecting the democratic ideals of free speech this country was founded upon. If your online advertising for the Letterman show is not reinstated, I will exercise my democratic rights by not staying at any Hilton properties in the future."<br /><br />That letter isn't funny. Because comedians like myself aren't laughing at the way Sarah Palin unjustly attacked Letterman and essentially called him a child molester. Letterman has been singled out for going after the Palin family, even though both Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien performed similiar jokes during the campaign. Letterman has gone way above and beyond the call of duty, by apologizing numerous times. I wish he simply could have said, "Hey, it's a JOKE!" But that would not have satisfied a publicity hungry politician willing to use her children, rather than her intellect, to stay in the public eye.<br /><br />There are many issues we should be vigorously debating right now in our country. Whether a comedian has the right to tell a joke should not be one of them.Scott Blakemanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02179319071489584722noreply@blogger.com1