Sunday, December 16, 2007

Military Strike

The Writers Guild strike has no end in sight, Broadway stagehands recently ended their walkout, and the Directors Guild has begun their contract negotiations. These job actions, while justified, deprive people of their entertainment options. Why can't there be strikes by the people who do things we wish they would stop doing? Let's take our military in Iraq, for example.

While Congress is unable or unwilling to bring our troops home expeditiously, a military strike would accomplish a similiar result. And not the kind of military strike that Turkey inflicted upon northern Iraq yesterday, or US forces carry out in Iraq and Afghanistan. No, a genuine military strike where soldiers refuse to fight, lay down their weapons, and write picket signs instead. Picture this conversation between a soldier and military brass.

PENTAGON: What are your strike demands?
SOLDIER: No more killing.
PENTAGON: But you're a soldier. Killing is part of the job description.
SOLDIER: Then change our job description. How about replacing killing with talking?
PENTAGON: You're not trained to talk.
SOLDIER: I think that's a skill you can pick up without training.
PENTAGON: So if you don't kill the enemy, won't they kill you?
SOLDIER: That's where the talking comes in. Everyone wants something. We can find out what they want, tell them what we want, and try to make everyone happy.
PENTAGON: That won't make Halliburton happy.

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And on the campaign trail...Oprah Winfrey campaigned last week for Barack Obama. Desperately searching for his own celebrity to support him, Mike Huckabee said he would have Jesus campaign with him. When told of Jesus's lack of availability, Huckabee said he was not aware that Jesus was no longer alive, saying he had been campaigning nonstop and didn't have time to get the news.