Every Presidential candidate this week stole the theme of change from Barack Obama, because he did so well Tuesday in Iowa. Next, to confuse the voting public, they're all going to steal his name too. Except Giuliani, who would love to rename himself Mr. September 11. But he can't, because a professional wrestler has probably beat him to it.
The Republicans go on and on about how Ronald Reagan got the Berlin wall taken down, and then they drool over the thought of putting up their own wall on the border with Mexico. There are a lot of unemployed former East German security police they could hire to build that wall.
President Bush is visiting the Middle East this week. He'll be staying in a $2600 per night suite at the King David Hotel in Jerusalem. They were out of rooms at his first choice- an illegal settlement in the West Bank. This is Bush's first trip ever to Israel, where he's expected to visit the Wall. Not the wailing wall. He's going to visit the wall that separates Israelis from Palestinians, and Palestinians from their gardens and farms. But you know how Republicans love those border walls. Prime Minister Olmert said it's not a wall, it's a gated community. They have a clubhouse, there's entertainment on Saturday night.
I just realized I've gone a couple of paragraphs without mentioning change. So how about a change in the topics the candidates discuss.
They never discuss the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and if they do, it's the always helpful, "I stand by Israel" comment, and then they move on to the next topic. Israelis disagree with the Israeli government more than American politicians do. The candidates think that, if they criticize Israel even slightly, Alan Dershowitz will demand they drop out of the race.
And what about gun control? After every shooting at a school or at the mall, instead of hearing people talk about keeping guns out of everyone's hands, they talk about how we'd be better off if everyone had guns.
I wonder what some of the candidates will be doing years from now? Fred Thompson acts like he can't wait to jump back into the cast of Law and Order. Mike Huckabee could host the first late night evangelical crusade. Mitt Romney seems well suited to host an infomercial on How To Start Your Own Business With No Money Whatsoever.
And Barack Obama might be bringing about real change. As President of the United States.